In this episode of Mano Charchae, RJ Padma Priya is in conversation with Dr. Pavana and they discuss Sibling Rivalry.
“Usually, all siblings have some or the other kind of fights, but when it gets too serious, it becomes an issue to be considered more specifically. A few persons harbour deeper feelings towards creating problems for their siblings by irritating them and these fights can increasingly become a nuisance for the parents.”
A rivalry can be spotted at an early stage if a child displays a need for attention and love exclusively for them, and get distressed when it is directed towards their sibling. This usually happens when new babies come into the family. The elder sibling may start showing their anger by not doing their regular work, not studying well, refusing to go to school, not eating food, and other attention-seeking behaviours. “What the parents should do is tell their elder kids that very soon, you will have a baby sibling and you will be able to play with him and take care of them. Basically, love and care should be built in their minds so that once the baby arrives, it should seem like there is a caretaking team composed of the parents and the elder children at home. It is very important that parents show appreciation for all their kids together and equally, and show their love explicitly.”
Parents should never appreciate one kid in front of their other children or scold one kid in front of others. “Involving the elder child in the routine work of the younger one is a good idea. The elder one should gradually be taught decision-making skills in choosing their dress and other essentials before a new baby comes in. If an older child is getting angry or irritated very easily, then the parents should sit and talk to them and teach them how to communicate better. Also, nowadays, with nuclear families being common, a strong show of parents’ love is important for children to experience. In joint families, grandparents, uncles, and aunts shower love on all children, but in smaller family units, everything depends on the parents.”